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The Daily Me Staff
And, What About Crimes That Haven’t Been Enacted Into Law, Yet? You Could Be A Retroactive Criminal And Not Even Know It!
John Muise believes that, despite all evidence to the contrary, crime statistics are actually going up, citing the fact that crimes unknown just four decades ago are now prevalent.
He makes a good point, but why stop at 40 years? Crimes that were prevalent 400 years ago are now practically nonexistent. When was the last time somebody was arrested for spitting on a public street between the hours of 6am and 6pm, or stealing one of the King’s horses?
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088661831813&call_pageid=968635278492&col=423666972154]
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That’s Why Nobody Calls Him The Black Shadow For Nothing
John McCain’s presidential campaign is claiming that Barack Obama has “played the race card” by stating in speeches that McCain was becoming so desperate that he would soon try to convince voters to be scared of a black man as President.
“We would have preferred to play the race card ourselves by trying to convince voters to be scared of a black man as President,” a McCain insider desperately explained, “but Obama beat us to it, so we had to settle for second best. Damn, he’s good!”
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49831-2008Jul27.html]
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Whoa! Somebody Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed Of Nails This Morning!
Oh, will you motherfucking halfwits stop it already! You wanna know the reason the mainstream doesn’t take the conspiracy community – yeah, we?re a community, get over it, schmucko – seriously? Because at the first sign of a disagreement, dumb shits like you are ready to rip each other’s throats out! Meanwhile, both you jackasses missed the big conspiracy this week: the copyright lobby framing Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies on a cocaine rap to get him off their backs! Jesus – you know, just because any moron can spout off on the Internet DOESN’t MEAN THAT EVERY MORON SHOULD!!!!!!!!
SOURCE: Bob’s Penultimate Conspiracy Page
[http://www.ignorebobatyourperil.com/conspiracy2308.html]
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Shiny Objects – A Web Designer’s Best Friend
I Don’t Mean To Burst Your Tech Bubble
I don’t wish to be a bore on
The subject of how the Internet is making me a moron
But I feel I must
The Internet is truly great
You can play a game or find a date
Or your income tax strategies adjust
Online you can listen to a radio station
Or plan how you’re going to spend your summer vacation
Or look up an old, forgotten friend
You can find all sorts of information
From endangered species to the Polish rate of inflation
The advantages of the Internet never seem to end!
In fact, when you think about it, the Internet has become a mirror that we can hold up to society. Most of the things we do offline we can now do online. This means that the ills that exist in the world are also replicated online – but, why blame a faulty school system and/or poor parenting for stupid children when it’s much simpler to blame the Internet? To appreciate the causes of social ills you really have to know ’em –
Oh, wait, didn’t I start off by writing a poem?
Every tech critic has to mention
The decreasing span of our attention
As a simple matter of cause and effect
It really is too easy, by heck,
To place the blame solely on tech –
Ooooh, look, a shiny object!
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/231.html]
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Cuil A Shaker?
Cuil, the new search engine, was supposed to challenge Google for online supremacy. Instead, in its first week of public operation, it became something of an embarrassment. Although it claims to have indexed over 120 billion Web pages, 95 per cent of search queries receive a single response: the Girls with Eyepatches Home Page.
Representatives of Google smirked to themselves and took a bath in diamonds they bought with the additional revenue they received as the company’s share prices soared yet again.
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/080801/geeklynews/01ashwaria.htm]
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Confronted By One Of Them, Darwin Might Be Tempted To Revise His Theories
Creationist: somebody who insists upon replacing a theory about the existence of human beings on Earth that has flaws with a theory that makes absolutely no sense.
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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A Musical By An Englishman Set In Switzerland? It’s Not Exactly The War of 1812…Or, Passchendaele…Or, Even 1960s Style Peacekeeping – When Did Canadian Expectations Become So…Diminished?
“It’s thrilling that we’re going to be able to bring a new star for the people of Canada to discover… I feel television programmes like this are valuable because they connect the whole country.”
– theatre producer David Mirvisch on the show How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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The Fog Of Sports
Experts have suggested that the smog above Beijing is likely to hamper the performance of athletes competing in this year’s summer Olympics. Particulate matter, a mix of dust, soot and smoke from vehicle and industrial emissions, averages around 100 micrograms per cubic metres annually – twice the World Health Organization’s safe limit.
However, other experts are more optimistic. For example, Dane Ostvald van der Sloopy is touted by many to break the world’s record for the 100 metre hack, gasp and wheeze. And, then, there’s…there’s…okay, that’s about it. Still, it’s a potential Olympic record, and that’s exciting, right? Right?
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#56438136745]
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Which Would You Say Was More Eloquent?
WHAT ECONOMIC PUNDITS SAY: consumer confidence has been shaken by lack of liquidity in the housing market. Skyrocketing payments owing to variable mortgage rates have resulted in increased foreclosure rates. This has had the unfortunate effect of leading to soft sales and employment numbers for the second quarter.
WHAT REAL PEOPLE SAY: I’m skint.
SOURCE: Economics for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummieshome.asp?did=489&dir=bb]
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This Headline Parodies A Headline From November 22, 1924
Parody Parody Movie. A sendup of movies, like Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie, that were parodies of other movies. Parody Parody Movie even contains references to classic parodies like Airplane! and Young Frankenstein. And, just when you think Hollywood can’t sink any lower in cannibalizing itself, Paramount announces that there will be a sequel!
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0678120/]
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